“But why do we have to give something up for Lent?”
That was the question my seven-year-old posed as we began talking about this sacred season this year. We had included her in our pre-Lent family discussion for the first time.
It’s a good question. If Lent is about drawing near to God, why does giving something up matter?
The Church offers a simple but deeply spiritual answer: During these forty days, we are invited to give something up so that we can unite ourselves with “the mystery of Jesus in the desert.” (CCC 540).
The desert.
A place where everything falls away. A place of testing, hunger, and surrender.
Few of us would willingly choose to live in the desert ourselves.
So how can we live out this mystery in the midst of ordinary life, not just alone but with our families? The Church points us toward three practices that shape the Lenten journey of self-denial: fasting, almsgiving, and fraternal sharing (CCC 1438).
Fasting as a family
As I answered my little one’s question, I explained that when we willingly set aside something we enjoy, we experience hunger, as Jesus did in the desert. And that’s when we can turn to God, offer up our little sacrifice and say: “Lord, I offer this to you. This littlest of sacrifices reminds me of what you gave up for me.”
There are many shared sacrifices we can offer as a family:
- Giving up movie night
- Choosing simple meals and limiting takeout
- Helping with extra chores
- Reducing screen and TV time
- Giving up complaining when one of us annoys the other
- Skipping dessert during these forty days
- Fasting from harsh words
Each sacrifice, especially when offered together as a family, reminds us of the desert our Lord endured and teaches us that Lent is about letting go and relying on God. And that love often involves sacrifice.
Almsgiving: Family generosity
I’ve found that my children often notice the poor before I do — the woman begging at the church gate, the little boy living on the street, the man seeking alms at the traffic signal.
Through the practice of almsgiving, the Church calls us all to recover that child-like heart: to look outward, notice the poor more often, and respond with generosity.
As a family, here are some ways to participate in the act of almsgiving:
- Visiting an old-age home or an orphanage
- Preparing a meal for a poor family
- Donating clothes, toys, and books
- Donating the money saved through Lenten sacrifices
- Encouraging children to choose a cause or a person they would like to help
- Buying groceries for a struggling family
These acts of generosity help us turn our heart toward those in need. By sharing our money and resources, we seek to make our hearts a little more like that of our generous Savior.
Fraternal sharing: Family mission
Did you know that the Patroness of the Missions, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, never joined a single mission? Although it was her great desire to do so, her frail health made it impossible.
So Thérèse found another way to build up the Body of Christ. She offered up little sacrifices and many prayers for missionaries working in far-flung lands.
Through prayer and sacrifice, Thérèse became a missionary even within the confines of her Carmelite home. And during this season of preparation, the Church invites us to do the same.
As a family, we can share in the Church’s missionary task in simple but powerful ways:
- Offering up a weekly rosary for missionaries
- Donating to the missions
- Supporting a charitable organization
- Reading about missionaries during these forty days
- Encouraging older children to participate in parish youth or mission projects
- Praying for Christians being persecuted for their faith
These little acts remind us that the Church’s mission is ours as well. And that we too can share in the work of bringing Christ to the world.
The heart of Lent
Together, fasting, almsgiving, and fraternal sharing shape the Lenten journey. They help us turn our attention outward and upward — away from ourselves and toward God and others.
– Fasting teaches us to loosen our grip on the comforts we cling to.
– Almsgiving reminds us to notice those in need and give generously.
– Fraternal sharing invites us to share in the Church’s mission.
Little by little, through these forty days, we learn to deny ourselves and enter into the desert with Jesus. And as we offer Him the little we can, we learn to fix our eyes on Him.
Lent, then, is not merely a season on the Church’s calendar. It is not simply a time to give up something we love. Lent is an invitation — to love God with all our hearts and to renew our relationship with the One who gave Himself up for us.
In faith,
Faith grows in the little spaces of our ordinary lives, through reflection, prayer, and a gentle turning of our hearts toward the God who loves us.