THIS IS WEEK 5 OF THE SPEAK LIFE SERIES
Related reading:
- The big picture: 5 Biblical Principles for Better Communication in Marriage.
- Week 1: Forgive Quickly & Completely
- Week 2: Speak the Truth but with Love
- Week 3: Pray, Don’t Prove
- Week 4: Listen More, Speak Less
- What is the Speak Life Marriage Devotional about? [see box below]
WHAT IS THE SPEAK LIFE MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL ABOUT?
Marriage is a gift from our Father, a trek to heaven designed for two. But it’s not always easy, and sometimes we hurt the very person God set apart for us before the world began (Tobit 6:18). So, in this series, we go on a 5-week journey through Scripture, learning to communicate with love, truth, and grace. Our aim is to use Scriptural principles to transform our hearts, our words, and our marriages.
Why 5 weeks?
This devotional is designed for slow but lasting change in the little attitudes, choices, and words that shape a marriage. This is why we focus on just one biblical principle to put into practice per week. As we look at each biblical principle and understand it, we try to act upon it in that week and transform the way we speak to, love, and listen to the most important person in our lives here on earth.
Alone or together?
It’s best if you and your spouse do this together. But if you’re starting alone, that’s okay. Your efforts will bear fruit as you faithfully walk with Christ to grow a stronger, holier marriage.
So come, slow down, and breathe life and love into your marriage with God’s Word as your guide.
HOW TO USE THIS DEVOTIONAL
Step 1: Read the Scripture prayerfully and let it settle in your heart.
Step 2: Read the Reflection, pausing where needed to consider something that speaks to you.
Step 3: Understand and apply this week’s Practice. Print or save it to keep it handy.
Step 4: Pray each day this week for the grace to build a stronger, Christ-centered marriage.
Week 5
Scripture
“Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.”
Reflection
We’re on Week 5 of our 5-week devotional! How about a little quiz to begin this last week? You’ve got to answer in under 10 seconds. Ready?
What are the top 5 things you love the most about your spouse? Don’t overthink it. Just list the first 5 things that come to mind. Go!
…
…
…
…
…
Here’s my list:
- His forgiving spirit
- His praying heart
- His ability to do just about anything mechanical
- The way he fathers our children
- His strength
I’m so thankful I could type that out without a second thought.
How did you do?
If you did that easily, praise God! You know the gift you have been given by God. If that wasn’t as easy for you, don’t be discouraged. This week’s devotional is all about learning to appreciate and build up your spouse.
And as you do that, you’ll be building up your marriage as well.
The might of words
Life moves fast, doesn’t it? Most days, as we speed past each other, focused on getting things done, we’re exchanging quick updates and rattling off to-dos rather than speaking kind words.
It’s easy to speak without giving much thought to the words we use.
Easier still to forget how powerful our words can be. They can wound or heal, tear down or build up, discourage or inspire.
Paul knew this truth well. That’s why he reminded the believers in Thessalonica to “encourage one another and build up each other.” He knew that brotherly encouragement would strengthen their relationships and help them live out the love of Christ.
This is true in a marriage as well. Perhaps even more so.
Speak life
Words that hurt are easy to fling around.
“You always…” “Why can’t you just…” “It’s so annoying when you…”
Most often, we don’t mean to wound each other. But intentional or not, hurtful words can cut deep, not just into feelings but into the fabric of our marriage as well.
Encouraging words, on the other hand, are like leaven in a marriage. They lift up our hearts and activate joy, filling our relationship with tenderness and delight. They speak life into our marriage! They breathe joy into our love.
A way of life
So begin today.
Acknowledge the power of your words. Before you speak, ask yourself: “Will these words build up or tear down?” If you know they’re breakers not builders, calm down. If your words are true but potentially hurtful, reframe your conversation so that you speak truth, but with love.
Choose to speak life every day, my friend.
Appreciate the small things. The way your spouse handles finances, cooks your favorite meal, helps the children with school work, or fixes a leaking faucet. Yes, even that!
Fill your home with words like “I really love you the way you…” and “You are so good at….”
If you see your spouse struggling with work, uncertain about a decision, or feeling down, speak words of affirmation. “I know you can do this, love” can go a long way in boosting confidence and building up your spouse.
A single word of appreciation can change the tone of the day, reminding your spouse that he or she is valued, seen, and loved.
By speaking life, you’ll be breathing hope, strength, and healing into your spouse’s heart. And into your marriage.
And as you make encouragement a daily habit, you’ll see little sparks of joy springing up all through your day. A tender smile, a softened tone. Gratitude and affection will start to sprout happily in both your hearts.
You’ll be building something truly wonderful — a deep, joyful Song-of-Songs kind of love that reflects God’s heart.
Isn’t that a beautiful way to live and to love?
Practice
Right now: Ask the Lord to fill your words with gentleness and encouragement.
This week: Focus on speaking words of appreciation and thanksgiving.
- Set the tone: Start the day with gentleness. As you greet your spouse in the morning, smile. I often ask: “Did you sleep well, love?” This simple question reflects concern and love.
- Pause before you speak: And ask yourself, “Will my words build up or tear down?” If what you are about to say needs to be said, reframe your words so that you speak the truth but with love.
- Keep your eyes open: Pay attention to the tasks that your spouse does through the day. Ask yourself which of these tasks you take for granted. Thank God for these things that you may usually overlook.
- One thing each day: Each day this week, find at least one thing you want to appreciate about your spouse. Small or big, doesn’t matter. Simply build up your spouse with your words of love.
- Boost: If there’s something your spouse is struggling with, offer your support. A few encouraging words (“I’m praying for you. I know you’ll find a way”) can go a long way in building up your spouse.
- Grow a builder’s heart: Each day this week, ask God to give you eyes that see the good in your spouse, a tongue that speaks life, and the heart of a builder. Pray that your spouse too is given these gifts.
Before you move on: When the week winds down, ask yourself: Was I able to see my spouse with fresh eyes this week? Did I build up or tear down with my words? How have my actions impacted our relationship this week?
Prayer
Father, forgive us for the times our words have torn down rather than built up. Teach us to use our voices to encourage, strengthen, and comfort. When impatience, frustration, or daily cares overwhelm us, help us pause and choose our words in a spirit of love, not anger. Help us to see the good in each other and to appreciate each other and all that we have been given. Make us builders not breakers and strengthen us as we grow our marriage into a deep, intimate union that reflects your love for us. Amen.
Congratulations!
You’ve completed the 5-week Speak Life Marriage Devotional!
I hope this journey has helped you slow down, discover new ways to listen with love, and open up your heart to a deeper, more Christ-like marriage.
While we have come to the end of our series, I pray this is just the beginning of a lifelong journey of speaking life for you. Let forgiveness, encouragement, and joy become the steady heartbeat of your home. May the God of all goodness bless your marriage and make it a true reflection of His love for us.
Keep speaking life, my friend. May God bless you.
5 weeks. 5 biblical principles. Get them in your inbox.
Speak life into your marriage.
No spam. Just lil’ seeds of faith, hope & love.
