Four Ways to Make Mercy the Heart of Our Homes
Living Out Divine Mercy in the Family
I was probably three when my mom told me the story of Jesus’ crucifixion. By the time I was eight and could better understand what that meant, I didn’t like that story.
Each time I looked up at a crucifix, I would wonder: Why did He have to die? Why could there be no other way to save the world?
As I grew up, I started to better understand the reason and meaning of Jesus’ sacrifice. But I still wished there were another way. Until one day, in prayer, the thought arose: How would I ever know the depths of His love for me if it were not for the cross?
The cross reveals the fullness of God’s free-flowing love and mercy, for me and for every single person on earth. It is a mercy that goes beyond anything we could imagine.
What is the Divine Mercy?
Think of your worst sin. That one thing you regret the most. His Divine Mercy is greater than that. So great that He submitted to death on the cross, so that we may know with certainty that His love surpasses our darkest sins and worst failures.
The message of the Divine Mercy, as revealed by Jesus to Saint Faustina, is this: No sin is greater than God’s mercy when we turn to him in repentance. His mercy is freely offered. And He invites the whole world to receive it through the cross.
Mercy Begins at Home
But devotion to the Divine Mercy is not passive. These great graces that Jesus won for us are offered freely but they are not forced upon us. Saint Faustina tells us that we are called to
That last bit is particularly difficult for me. Especially in my own home.
Especially when a counter is messed up right after I’ve cleaned it. Or when I find myself repeating instructions over and over. Or when I’m at the receiving end of hurtful words or attitude-laden looks.
It’s odd.
The people we love the most are those we trade the most hurts with.
So then, that is precisely where mercy must begin — at home.
Living Out the Divine Mercy in the Family
I tried it out yesterday.
I deliberately chose to respond to harsh words with gentleness. I asked one child to offer grace to another who misspoke. I failed a few times, too, forgetting to be kind and merciful like my heavenly Father.
But it was a beautiful start — one that has the potential to transform our home. So as we celebrated the feast of the Divine Mercy, I got to thinking about a few ways in which we can extend mercy to each other.
1. Assume the best about each other
When a family member speaks sharply, I am quick to assume it stems from disrespect. And I respond in anger.
But mercy requires us to pause and consider that perhaps there’s more going on than what we can immediately see. Perhaps the child melting down had a difficult day at school. Or the spouse acting distant is carrying a burden we don’t yet know about.
Mercy offers the benefit of the doubt. It chooses to listen and understand instead of rushing in to criticize.
2. Speak gently, even when it is hard
I have lost count of how many times I repeat instructions, remind about chores, or settle a quarrel. In those frustrating moments, an irritated “How many times do I have to tell you…” while I stomp away in anger feels so satisfying!
But if the Lord responded in this way to me, if He turned His face away each time I fell, where would that leave me?
So I am called to put that harsh tone aside — the one that subtly tells my children that I am out of patience and tired of teaching them. I have to choose to respond gently and correct them patiently.
Each time I do this, I reflect God’s mercy.
Each time I remind my child to do this when he or she is hurt by a sibling, I teach mercy.
These daily choices slowly lay the foundation for a family that is learning to live out God’s mercy.
3. Forgive, over and over again
Family life requires constant forgiveness. Not because we have terrible family members but because they are human and so are we.
The truth is, most hurts within the family do not come from dramatic betrayals. They stem from little things — from one sibling calling another a name, a child rolling eyes when asked to help, or a parent giving a lecture without stopping to know what actually transpired. Little though they are, these daily hurts can build mighty fortresses of resentment if we do not choose to forgive freely.
The call to receive and extend forgiveness is the very heart of the Divine Mercy. Nothing then is more important than striving to build a home where we don’t keep score and where mercy is second nature.
4. Stay rooted in prayer
We cannot give what we have not received. If we want to become more merciful, we must remain close to the source of mercy Himself, by praying together as a family.
Whether we choose to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet together, read the Passion of Jesus bit by bit, or meditate on the mysteries of Jesus’ life through the Rosary, family prayer is the key to gently guiding our families (and our own hearts) towards living out the message of the Divine Mercy.
A Home Shaped by Mercy
This side of heaven, our families will not be perfect. There will be raised voices, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and days we fail to love well.
But living out the Divine Mercy is not about perfection. It is about returning to the heart of Christ, receiving His forgiveness, and then extending that same grace and mercy to others.
When we correct with love and not anger even when we are already tired, when we humbly seek and extend forgiveness without keeping score, when we choose to offer grace in the face of annoyances and hurts, we choose mercy.
And slowly, in the ordinary hours of family life, in the daily work and sacrifices, we build a home that begins to reflect Christ’s unconditional love for us.
In faith,
more on faith in the family
