A guide for those waiting on the spouse God has prepared for them
Relationship status: Single
Is that what your status looks like? Are you in a season of waiting?
Waiting on God for a spouse can sometimes feel like a long corridor, with lots of doors on either side and plenty of questions as you walk down the hallway. What should I be doing while I wait? What do I look for in a spouse? What expectations should I have of marriage?
If these questions resonate, this guide is for you, and for every single Christian who wants to choose wisely, pray well, and get ready for the spouse God has prepared.
So before you say “I do,” let’s talk about how to wait well and focus on the things that really matter when finding (and becoming) a godly spouse.
Before you begin: What to look for?
“…they look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”
Looks, charm, talent, and witty banter are all attractive, and wonderful traits to have. But none of these set a person up for a godly marriage.
God values what’s inside a person: their heart, their character, their posture towards Him. When you’re seeking a potential spouse, these are the things that matter the most. They are the signposts for a healthy, lasting marriage.
✔ Checkpoints
- Faith: Are they pursuing a real relationship with Christ? Don’t simply look for church attendance. Look for whether they are seeking to walk with the Lord.
- Strength of character: Do they demonstrate humility, integrity, self-control, even when no one is watching?
- Relationships: How do they treat others (family, friends), especially those who cannot give them anything in return (strangers, waiters, helping staff)?
- Direction: Are they seeking God’s purpose in their life or drifting along with the crowd?
🌟Tip: Observe how they handle real life — criticism, conflict, disappointment, traffic, or even something small like slow Wi-Fi. In marriage, every little habit and trait is amplified.
Pray for your future spouse
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Spend time knowing God and seeking Him. Ask that He guide you in all your decisions. Praying for your future spouse is more than about asking that He bring that person into your life. It’s about praying to prepare their heart and yours.
✔ Prayer points
- Spiritual depth: Pray for a spouse who loves God more than he/she will love you. Who puts God first, above everything else. And pray that you become that kind of a person too.
- Character: Ask that God builds qualities like humility, patience, faithfulness, courage, a forgiving heart, and gentleness in both of you.
- Healing: Ask God to heal them and you from past hurts and the burdens of wrong expectations.
- God’s timing and clarity: Pray that the two of you meet (and recognize) each other in God’s perfect timing!
🌟Tip: Start praying intentionally for them every day. Maybe even start a prayer journal. One day you may even gift it to them as part of your love story!
[COMING SOON: 30 DAYS OF PRAYER FOR YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE]
As you search
“But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Know that this time of searching and waiting can be messy, frustrating, and confusing. As you wait, don’t lose sight of the present moment that God has gifted you. Scripture reminds us that seasons of waiting are not just placeholders. They are full of purpose and designed for growth. So lean into this season as you search, and delight in the Lord. Don’t let the waiting take the joy out of the now.
✔ Mindset checks
- Introspect: Ask yourself why you are seeking marriage. Are you looking at marriage as a calling and a covenant? Look into your heart and prepare it as you wait.
- Embrace this season: Singlehood is a powerful season. It gives you the time to serve and build God’s kingdom before taking on the responsibilities that come with marriage. So while you wait, delight in this time given to you by God, grow your faith, and reach out in service.
- Seek wisdom and community: Don’t let movies and culture shape your ideals as you search. Seek counsel and prayer from friends and family who walk in God’s ways.
🌟Tip: Pray diligently but be present and proactive too. Seek opportunities to serve in your parish, engage socially, and be open to “introductions” from those you trust. God often guides us as we walk along.
Before saying “I do”
“We love because he first loved us.”
Use this time to study God’s design for marriage. Learn about marriage as a covenant, as a sacrament. Know that you are called to love your spouse as God loves us. Understanding the scriptural and covenantal foundations of marriage will help you start your journey right.
✔ Truths and realities to understand before you get there
- Marriage is holy: Marriage is not just about you and your spouse. Christ enters into covenant with you. In fact, one of the purposes of Christian marriage is for spouses to lead each other into holiness. If you stay humble, marriage will refine your character, uproot selfishness, teach you sacrificial love, and lead you closer to Christ.
- Love is a choice, not just an emotion: Emotions change. Commitment and covenant stays. There will be rough seasons, dry times. But marriage is about choosing to stay, to work through it, and to love daily as Christ loves us.
- It’s worth it: Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts! Don’t let clichés dishearten you. Walk with the Lord and seek His wisdom and you will find your God-ordained spouse and purpose.
🌟Tip: Don’t wait until you’re married to learn about marriage. Read Ephesians 5. Study the church’s wisdom on marriage. Practice sacrificial love and service for your family right now, and you’ll be ready to hit the ground running when you finally find the one God had prepared for you.
[COMING SOON: THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE – MYSTERY, COVENANT, SACRAMENT]
As you look ahead
If God has put marriage on your heart, begin preparing now, before the rings, the RSVP card, and even before the relationship.
Marriage is one of the most wonderful gifts from our Loving Father to us. So as you keep praying with expectation for your future spouse, keep growing with intention. Draw closer to Christ. Reach out in service. Build the church. Use this season to seek God’s purpose for your life.
And trust that in His perfect time, He will bring the one created for you, to you.
In faith,
“Do not be afraid, for she was set apart for you before the world was made.”
